TP Hanging

Ben Franklin felt it unwise to discuss religion or politics with friends, that these two volatile subjects could result in dissolved friendships.  This confirms that toilet paper wasn’t available in the late 1700’s, otherwise Ben would have included toilet paper as another avoidable topic of friendly conversation.   (Geez, I’m not exactly sure when toilet paper replaced the Sears catalog in the outhouse either … but, that’s another story.)

How do you hang your toilet paper?  If you hang it all, you have only two choices,  either it hangs off the roll in the back or the front (see photos above, taken at a 5-star hotel).  You probably never give this daily encounter much thought.  This universal every-day occurence doesn’t seem like a big deal until you bring it up in casual conversation.  If you want to get your best friend all huffy and defensive, just ask them about their toilet paper.  Seriously.  The next time you’re at your friend’s place, just casually ask them, “Why do you hang your toilet paper like that?  You, know … backwards?”

“Backwards?” is the first response you’ll get.  Then, as your friend’s face begins to flush and their jaw tightens, you hear,  “What do you mean, backwards?  How else would you do it!?”

Smile and laugh a bit when you say, “The right way, like over-the-top (or whichever way is opposite of their way), so its easier to reach.”  Try not to sound too condescending when you politely press on, “Where did you learn how to hang TP?”

Now, your friend is beet red, got some vein-throbbing action going in the forehead as they  take the offensive, “I’ve always done it that way … and, my MOTHER taught me how to do it.  SO WHAT!?”

Remain calm.  Laugh it off like you were just kidding … casually search for an escape route.  To cool things down a bit and end this conversation you could say, “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”  Your friend will forget the whole thing, “Yeah, hey, let’s order a pizza.”

See what I mean?  Things wouldn’t heat up any faster if you called them a Democrat.  Wow, with this kind of reaction to such a simple, mundane subject, between friends no less, how will the Arabs and Israelis ever find common ground?

Thought for the Day:  Never give advice unless asked.   German Proverb

One thought on “TP Hanging

  1. Y’know, now that you mention it, I noticed you hang yours backward. And while we’re at it, the Sears catalog was quite a step forward on the old Nebraska farms, but it lost its effectiveness when they started printing on glossy pages.

    My dad told me that they always kept red and white corn cobs in the outhouses. After you use a red one, you use a white one to see if you need to use another red one.


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